Life on the Spectrum

Archive for April, 2015

What is Autism Acceptance?

As I said in a previous post, I don’t think we need any more autism awareness. One of the things we do need is autism acceptance. What is autism acceptance, though? What does it look like?

Autism acceptance means not trying to make an autistic person act like a typical person. It means allowing us to have our stims, as long as they’re not hurting us or anyone else, and allowing us to avoid making eye contact if it’s difficult.

Autism acceptance means not saying, “I love my child but I hate his/her autism.” It means accepting your child, autism and all.

Autism acceptance means making accommodation for our sensory needs and allowing us to wear earmuffs or headphones in noisy environments, turning off the fluorescent lights, allowing us to wear comfortable clothes instead of expecting us to wear ties or frilly blouses or, heaven forbid, pantyhose.

Autism acceptance means accepting our desire to not be cured. It means not seeing us as broken or defective or needing to be fixed.

Autism acceptance means using autism-first language when referring to an autistic person rather than insisting on person-first language if that is what the autistic person uses. It means accepting our self-identification as autistic people and not insisting that “you are not your autism” or “you are a person before you are autistic.”

Autism acceptance means acknowledging the existence of autistic adults and not limiting your autism “awareness” to children. It means accepting autistic adults into your autism organizations, and it means funding programs and services that benefit autistic adults as well as autistic children.

Autism acceptance means listening to autistic people when we talk about our lived experience of autism rather than ignoring us in favour of autism “experts” and autism parents (except for autism parents who are themselves autistic, of course.) This includes listening to people who use assistive communication devices instead of dismissing them for being “low-functioning.”

Autism acceptance means accepting autistic people regardless of so-called functioning labels. It means not dismissing the opinions and contributions of autistic people for either being too high-functioning — “you can write a blog post so therefore you are too high-functioning to understand what life is like for my child” — or too low-functioning — “you are low-functioning so you can’t possibly understand what I’m talking about.” In fact, autism acceptance should mean not using artificial functioning labels at all.

Autism acceptance means accepting autistic people as we are, and not how you think we should be or how you want us to be.

Beyond Awareness

April 2 is worldwide Autism Awareness Day, but I don’t think we need any more autism awareness. I am pretty sure that most, if not all, of the developed world is already aware of autism. What we need more of is autism acceptance, autism inclusion and autism education.

Most people are aware of autism, but unless they are on the spectrum or have friends or family members members on the spectrum, few of them know anything about autism. They probably think all of us are like Rainman, or like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory.

I was diagnosed with autism about ten years ago, but I spent many years before that trying to find a professional who could properly assess and diagnose me. I first went to my GP. I asked him, “Who in Victoria can do autism assessments? I believe I have Asperger Syndrome.” My doctor said, “But you’re too intelligent for that.” Maybe my doctor was aware of autism, but he definitely didn’t know much about it.

I went to a psychologist and asked him if he could do an autism assessment. He read out the DSM-IV description of Asperger Syndrome and proceeded to inform me, after he’d spoken to me for a grand total of 15 minutes, that I didn’t fit the criteria, and that any social skills problems I had were my parents’ fault. Then he told me that I couldn’t be autistic because I’m a girl, and girls aren’t autistic. This person is a professional, but he sure doesn’t know much about autism. I guess he’s never heard of Temple Grandin.

A while back I was out with some friends and I happened to meet a woman who works with autistic children. “I’m autistic,” I told her. “I have Asperger Syndrome.” The woman saw that I was with some friends and said, “You’re too social to have Asperger Syndrome.” If this person knew more about autism, she would know that people with Asperger Syndrome or autism are perfectly capable of having friends.

I own many t-shirts with sayings on them about autism. One day I was in the grocery store and a woman asked if she could read my shirt. After she read it, she asked: “Who do you know that has autism?” I told her that I’m autistic. She said: “You don’t look autistic.” What does that mean? What does autism look like? I’m autistic and even I can’t tell just from looking whether another person is autistic. I am guessing that this woman is aware of autism but doesn’t know much about it, or she would know that there is no such thing as “looking” autistic.

These kinds of attitudes are common. I’m sure many of you have experienced them to with yourselves or your autistic friends or family members. There are so-called professionals saying that women aren’t autistic, that we don’t have friends or that we can’t be on the spectrum if we’re smart. This is why we need more autism education.

If you find that you want more autism education, please get your education from an autistic person. There are many blogs, websites and Facebook pages written by autistic people, as well as many books. Once we have more autism education, then I hope that will lead to more autism inclusion and autism acceptance.